14 I should be studying..

Instead, I'm spending my time watching the Food Network and relaxing. I should really be studying. I haven't studied all day and my final is at 7 AM tomorrow. Wow, this dessert that they're making looks really good! How come chefs are all fit and attractive? How do they do it? I should learn how to cook.

There's no real point to this post. I just wanted to spend some time to reflect. So much has changed this quarter. It's interesting. I remember being so excited for a new quarter, a new year. I think that I didn't embrace the changes that happened in my life. I feel like I've been fighting it all along instead of taking it for what it is. I think that I've had such a set idea of how I wanted this quarter to go that I didn't leave room for mistakes/other factors of life.

I look at certain people in my life and wonder how they're so happy all the time. They're so carefree and even if they're frustrated or worried about something, they don't let other people know. How do they do that? My goal for the next year is to be more like them. I need to learn how to control my feelings and not dwell on issues that I have no control over. I'm going to try and not let my negative energies flow. I just need a game plan.

13 Finals Week

Ah, I think I'm down to one post per month. =/ I wish I blogged more often, but alas, time does not allow for such things.

Well, it is finally finals week for me. I can't believe how quickly this quarter passed by. It was so hectic and busy, both mentally and emotionally stressful. There were some things that I wish I could've dealt with better but oh well. I'm learning.

Honestly, my thoughts are on love right now. Long story short, I liked my best guy friend but he doesn't like me back. It's been such a long time now, and I should truly be over it by now. It just makes me sad thinking about it and what's happened since then. He and I are fine but I'm pretty sure it's hurt our relationship. I feel like I've lost a good friend and it makes me wonder when I'll find someone like that again, as in someone who will open up to me and someone who I can open up to, someone that I can rely on to be awake when I want to talk to someone at 4 AM. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friends that I hang out with. But still... it's still possible to feel alone even when you're surrounded by people. Wow, that was harder to write than I thought it would be..