14 Breakdown #1

Ah, so... I finally had my first breakdown of the year last Saturday night. Oh jeez... A great combination of friends drama, midterms, interviews stress, pressure from family, and being sick all came together and finally blew up in my face.

More details later. I'm about to go home from the library and I know that I should sleep when I get home.... We'll see if I end up doing that. Probably not, though I know that I should.

13 Varentine's

I'm so glad to be home! But at the same time really bummed that I missed out on my classes today! I missed my Psychology lecture and discussion, and I was so excited to go since my discussion teacher was presenting this week. Our lecture was on emotions and our discussion section supposedly talked about Craigslist personal ads. Ah, just in time for Valentine's. Alas, I missed a really cool lecture after a series of boring ones.

Anyways, I'm glad to be home. It feels so comfortable. I love lying down on my big, comfy bed. And it's so warm in my room. I haven't been home in a while. It's a little sad. It was a bit unfamiliar for me walking around my house in the middle of the night, trying to find the light switches. I had forgotten...

Looking back on my previous post... It's weird how I anticipated Valentine's so early on in the month. I guess I've been wondering how it'll go this year? I don't remember doing anything last year. Not like that's different from any other previous years..

I'm so excited for the weekend! I have so much to get done, but I'm really excited. Quick post, because I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep. =]

12 Under the weather

I've been under the weather lately, but I've been keeping my spirits high! It's sad. I hate being sick, but I've been taking advantage of this in a different way. Since I've been sick, I've considerably slowed down with all of my activities. I'm missing out on PCE-related events this week (besides the one that we have coming up on Saturday) and I'm missing out on going to the gym (it's my second week and it makes me sad, but I have to get better!). Despite this, I took my time today to take advantage of what Cal Poly has to offer and attended school-wide events.

This week, Cal Poly is hosting a series of seminars and workshops around campus called "Focus the Nation." This year, it's about creating sustainable economies. I went to a workshop with some friends (and it was also a class assignment) and got some free tea that didn't come from tea leaves? It was yummy! Aside from that, I learned about a special type of block that people make and use to build houses in Thailand. I forgot what the block is specifically named, but they worked like Legos! The second part of that session also talked about the Real Food Challenge, issues on organic farming and how it should be promoted. With this session, I knew that all throughout my college career, sustainability will be a prevalent issue.

With the Real Food Challenge and reading Fast Food Nation, I feel like I know a lot about the food processing industry. I'm not really sure if it's affecting my diet now, but I'm sure that it will. But I have a feeling that if I continue to read such books, I'd eventually eliminate everything and limit myself to such small portions of organic food since it's expensive.

Another cool thing that Cal Poly has is our Multicultural Center. They promote diversity on campus and hopefully, I'll get the chance to work with them more later on in my college career. On the first Wednesday of every month, they put on a Poetry Slam show, usually featuring a poet who is of a certain ethnicity. I wasn't quite sure how to make that comprehensive, but here's an example. Because it's Black History Month for February, they featured a Black poet. They would do the same for the other months...

Tonight, I saw a poet named Prentice Powell. I didn't get to stay for the whole show, but I enjoyed his poems, as well as those who stood up for open mic. I knew a couple of people who went up for open mic and I applaud them! I wish I had something cool written out and the courage to do the same. hehe. It's also fun going to these shows because I find out more about friends who are into it too! It's really cool. I will leave you with a video, not from Prentice, but a classic Def Jam poem. =] + for Single Awareness Day coming up.

11 Video post!

Thought it would be easier if I made a video with a bunch of visuals and thought it would be faster than writing out my thoughts.... Sorry, I look SO crappy!

Some pictures though =]

NWC: The Race Show: http://nwclive.com/

We're the last ones to see the show with the original cast! Hopefully they'll continue the show or make it into a movie. It was a great show, about stereotypes and racism, debunking the myths about them. It's kind of hard to go into much detail. Through all the laughs, there was still a message that the only real race is the human race.

Amazon

I'm so excited for them! I really want to work for them. They have so many great opportunities that I could go with, if they decide to pick me, of course. I need to brush up on programming! Anyways, their software development internships are located at their Seattle headquarters. They pay for everything and room us all with each other! I think it'd be an awesome opportunity, to be able to live in Seattle and gain more experience bei

ng out on my own and working in the industry. I know, I feel like I'm going farther and farther away from home when I don't have to, but I need to learn. What's also great is that they have a subsidiary, CreateSpace.com, located in California. They have an office right here in San Luis Obispo, where a lot of Cal Poly students intern or work part time over school. I think that would be really awesome if it worked out that way.

These guys keep me at the top of my game. I hate them! Again, I look really bad haha, I was pretty sick that night... but I hope I still made a good impression. But they're the reason I went to the Career Fair and signed up for this dinner. I really wasn't looking for an internship for the summer. I was hoping to take a break and just stay for summer school. -_-

Culture Party:

Last night. It was really fun! But I'm glad I stayed home afterwards instead of going out. I really needed rest. My friend is so tall...

10 Mind poop

I have so much that I want to let out! It's not that I haven't been wanting to, but there just hasn't been any time or anyone to talk to really. Don't worry! It's not that I don't want to talk to you. I just haven't been able to. We're all busy, it's understandable. But be prepared for some mind poop, some time over the weekend. =) Sorry, it will probably be a long post.

9 Before I lose this feeling

Despite it having been quite a gloomy day today (weather-wise), I had a pretty bright day, so far. Things that made my day (I swear this list will be a short one):

• Went to Career Services today and got help on my resume. The lady that I met with was so nice! She helped me out a lot. She was so proud of me after looking at my resume! "I'm so proud of you right now! And I don't even know you!" haha. =) That made me feel better, after not knowing what to write down on my resume and being so unsure of myself and what I've done. Ah, that was just a great confidence boost.
• Met with my marketing group for PCN. It was a chill meeting, but I suppose it could've gone smoother... I didn't really have a set list of things to talk about, but we're doing something! I'm excited.
• Instead of working on homework and other things afterwards, I ended up tagging along with some friends in the hopes of being able to play around in the music room. People were practicing though so we couldn't. In the end, Ritchie and I just ended up playing around with the piano in one of the music rooms for half an hour. Time well spent! It was so fun. Both of us hadn't played in so long, so we were just playing random bits and making up songs or making up interpretive dances to Mozart's Sonata K. 545. hahaha ^^ I have a video, but I can't figure out how to get it onto my computer right now... =(

8 Physics and clutter

Ah, Thursday morning. Even though we have a short school week this week, I still have just as much, if not more, to think about. I'm going to stay up a little more to study for Physics, but for now, since I can't think straight, here's a list of random thoughts that have been going through my head these past couple of days.

• Wow, I have a lot to do.
• We have a black president! How crazy! It was really difficult to get a copy of the New York Times today, and I failed to do so.
• Job Fair is coming up soon. I need to work on my resume.
• I'm sitting with Amazon next week.
• I wish I understood physics better.
• I want to go shopping for a dress for Winter Formal. Am I even going? I don't know yet.
• I don't feel like I'm working on my school work as much as I'm supposed to.
• It's funny seeing other people stressed out. Everyone is starting to study for upcoming midterms and preparing for jobs and interviews. I used to be like that. I would always just stay home and study. I never went out to parties. Well, we'll see how my grades turn out this quarter.
• I think part of the reason why I'm not stressing out is because I don't really know what I want to do. I'm just going along for the ride.
• I'm now spending more time in the gym than at the library.
• My guy friends are starting to become really lame. They're never up for doing anything anymore. They're so anti. Anti girls, anti going out of their way to hang out with others. I associate it with laziness and being antisocial, but they like it. I'm kind of tired trying to change everyone's minds.
• I need to pay more attention to deadlines.
• I should apply for more scholarships.
• I don't think I can think about studying abroad right now. There's too much going on.
• I'm having a dilemma about being active in PCE and working on school. I know that I should really be more focused on school, and I hope that that still hasn't changed, but I just feel like it has. There's just so much to think about, but I really should prioritize and stop accepting more responsibility. If I continue to do so, I think I will eventually fall apart.
• I have a lot of goals this quarter. It's going alright so far. I'm managing my time, not too many nights spent staying up working yet. 
• Some relationships, I still feel are strained. But it's okay. For now. It's bad, I'm still angry sometimes, and I fuel it. But it's just thoughts. I'm more indifferent, or I say that I am.
• Looking at my calendar, I feel so accomplished, but I'm not really. I think it's just because I fill it up with stuff that I might need to know. 
• I want to watch Slumdog Millionaire, read and watch Coraline, and finish another book. It's kind of hard to get into a book right now, with so many other thoughts going through my mind.
• Valentine's day is coming up. Why am I even thinking of this when it's still three weeks away?
• I haven't reached my goals yet, and I know that I still have a long way to go. But I'm more hopeful now. I can see myself reaching it.
• I miss home, but I'll be back to visit soon enough! =)